From the Department of Jumping the Gun Like Whoa, We Present Christmas!

This has been a strange week.

1. It is not Christmas. Lets stop kidding ourselves. I do not want your holiday music, flyers, or manufactured cheer. Thank you.

2. Why is it so hard to find a decent pair of gloves in this city? My fingers are freezing off.

3. Someone punched me in the face last night without provication while I was walking down 13th street. I was outside the Last Drop! Jeez, right there?! They didn't even do anything - just walked away while I swore at them. I'm still totally perplexed, although a friend of mine thinks someone was filming it for kicks. Odd hobby. At least the dude at the LD gave me a hot chocolate - very motherly.

4. Stairs, apparently, are not a valid method of transportation, according to security at Daffy's. I'm not a fan 0f elevators - they make me feel like a lazy, dumb American. I take the stairs when possible. Problem is, they're not always so easy to find. So, at Daffy's, I asked the security gaurd where I might find a flight. Her response was telling.

"Stairs?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows like I had just asked her to produce a kiwi from her pocket.
"Yes," I said, afraid I would have to explain the concept of a rising system of boxes that could be ascended.
"You wanna take the stairs?"
"Well, yes."
"Why?"
"I thought it might be easier." Elevators are also very annoying, in my opinion.
"Oh, I dunno. It's kinda hard."

Hard? Hard to take the stairs, right, gotcha, lemme wait in line for five minutes so I can take an elevator one flight up. How can you not have a flight of stairs? Has no one ever asked where they are, or desired to take them? Does no one else feel accomplished after they take the stairs instead of the elevator? I must be looney, I must be loosing it.